I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Randomize
