I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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