i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
