there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
