i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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