we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
