would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
