Just fell off a train. Bad.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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