We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
