Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
