My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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