i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
