this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
