Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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