You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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