So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
