how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
