I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
