the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
