i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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