i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
