Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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