I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
