I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
