she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There's always time for handjobs
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
