so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
