Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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