so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
