so explain again why im purple
no
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
