the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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