Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
