Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
