Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
