you turned your livingroom into a bong?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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