We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
