There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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