last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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