I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
