did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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