We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
