Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
