this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
