Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
