You can't motorboat a personality
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
