my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
