Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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