last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My vagina just clenched in fear
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