I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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