i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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