I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
