Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
