So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
