I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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