dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So vagazzling was a success
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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