i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
